I try to be confident that I am doing the best I can, I try to acknowledge that I am not perfect but I am a work in progress and move on. But sometimes, I let "Mother's Guilt" get the best of me. When I am sleep deprived I really let it get the best of me. I actually saw an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow several years ago and guess what, she also talked about "mother's guilt" in her life….so no one escapes mother's guilt. Today mother's guilt came out good and strong. (I might also mention Cece didn't sleep very well last night so neither did I.) I went to preschool conferences today for Miss Gabby. Preschool conferences are one of the most benign, simple tasks as a parent, I don't think twice about them. Well, this morning the teacher started things out saying Gabby is a lot of fun and great to have in class. I felt happy, I felt proud. Then she decided to tell me a story. "Gabby has been more sensitive since Cece was born. Last week she bumped her nose, she started to cry and said, I want my Mom but my Mom has a baby now and she is busy and that is really hard." Okay, what do you think I wanted to do after she told me this? (Remember I have little sleep under my belt.) Yes, ding, ding, ding, you are right, cry. But luckily I was a big girl and sat quietly through the rest of the conference. Then I drove home and did what every mature Mother would do and sent Steve a text that said, "Call me when you have time to listen to me cry about something not worth crying about." 13 years of marriage told him to call back asap (even if he didn't want to) and talk your wife off of the ledge. Once again, he was the voice of reason that told me Gabby is just fine and I tried to focus on something else, because Gabby is happy and healthy and will recover from this time when her Mom is busy with a new baby. I will be fine too, I just need to remind myself what a wonderful gift a sibling is to a child and I am doing the best I can right now. Deep breaths.
Have a good night.
photo by stacey montgomery