Tuesday, February 16, 2016

First time a sweet b had surgery.

Our littlest sweet b had surgery and it was really hard for all of us.  Cece's tear ducts have never functioned well and it was finally time to get them fixed.  I really feel minor surgery is an oxymoron.  Minor or not, it is still so scary.  I have a new respect for my parents who watched my brother and I have surgery dozens of times.

 They called for her pre-op and told us that we could bring her in a few days in advance for her to "tour" the facility to make her more comfortable and I tried not to laugh when they made the suggestion.  #1, did you look at her birth date?  She is 2.  #2, She is a 4th born, we will never get that tour into our schedule.  Nice thought though.  We woke her that morning and she seemed confused but cooperative.  Then we went through the kitchen to leave and she spotted a container of chocolate chip bars on the counter and wanted one.  Mom fail, I emptied the snacks out of the diaper bag but forgot to remove any evidence of snacks from the counters.  She was not happy and we left the house with her crying in arms….."I want a bar."  She settled down and was good for the drive and so good during pre-op.

I was smugly thinking about how well I was actually doing.  Then it was time to walk her back to the OR, Steve let me be the parent to walk her back until she went to sleep.  She walked back so cute with her stuffed animals and "taggy" blanket in hand.  It was so sweet to see how everyone around stopped what they were doing to see this cute little toddler toddle back to the OR.  Life really does seem to stop when people witness a sweet little toddler.  The anesthesiologist was wonderful with her.  I sat next to her and he put the mask on her face and she cooperated like a little adult.  I held her soft little chubby hand and watched her slowly fall limp, we laid her down and she went to sleep.  Then the anesthesiologist told me he was going to remove her mask for a second so I could kiss her goodbye.  Then I leaned over and kissed my sweet baby and began to weep.  I wept because I was asked to do the most unnatural thing I knew, I had to walk out and turn my back on my baby who was unconscious and going to be left with essential strangers.  As both a Mother and a nurse every part of me was telling me that this was wrong and I had no choice but to leave her.  When the anesthesiologist saw that I was having a tough time he said to me, "We will take good care of her."  For some reason this was very helpful to me, even though I knew they would take good care of her, hearing it was comforting to me and also seemed to eliminate my urge to announce to the whole room how precious she is to me and that our whole world would be crushed if something happened to her.  A nurse met me at the OR door and walked me to the waiting area, she was also wonderful and kind.

Steve was waiting for me there and seemed not surprised and unfazed by the state of emotion I was in.  (Apparently he has seen this before.)  The surgery actually took double the time that we had expected as the tube placement was difficult.  When we were able to be reunited with Cece in the recovery room she was inconsolable and having a tough time.  I thought leaving her in the OR was the hardest part but Steve thought seeing her inconsolable was the hardest part for him.  Seeing her in recovery was a bit of a relief to me because even though she was so upset it was good to see our feisty, toddler boss was back in town.  After a brief time in recovery we were discharged out the door.  Everyone was wonderful there and we are so thankful to them.

Cece is now recovering well but looks quite tough right now.  One of her eyes definitely looks like she was in a fight.  She is back to her spunky self and could possibly be even a little more demanding but we will take it.  Glad to check her surgery off of the list and move on to the next event, birthdays!

Love, Gina

1 comment:

stacey said...

Sweet girl. You both did great.